Our First Days as Parents

I gave birth to Quorra on a Tuesday and they sent us home by Thursday afternoon. Things went pretty well in the hospital. We had a couple moments that worried me, as a new mom, but nothing too concerning.

Quorra has always been a tiny little bean. I gave birth at exactly 39 weeks pregnant so she was no preemie but she was little. She was only 6 pounds and 9 ounces at birth. Since we did so well nursing she only lost 2 ounces in the hospital and was back up to her birth weight by her 1 week check up. She has some minor issues due to her size though.

At one point they told us that they were taking Quorra to the nursery so that the pediatrician could do their check up and get her her first vaccinations. They told me this would take about an hour. I took a nap and woke up an hour later and they hadn’t brought Quorra back yet. I waited a bit longer and after another half an hour the pediatrician came in and told me that she had recently finished her check up and that Quorra was jaundice. I knew what this was, due to my extensive research in all things baby. They told me that she would need some sunlight and would need to eat every couple hours. I would need to wake her up if she was sleeping to make sure that she ate regularly.

Jaundice is from having too much bilirubin in the blood. When babies are in the womb the red blood cells that are breaking down naturally are not filtered out all the way since their livers are still immature. This causes the baby’s skin to look yellow and generally will start at the face and go down their body. The further it goes down their body the more bilirubin is in the blood. Sunlight helps break down the bilirubin so that the baby’s liver can process it easier. The more the baby eats, the more will go through their liver, and this helps move out the bilirubin.

The fact that Quorra had a health issue definitely worried me but the doctor assured me that her levels weren’t extremely high and that jaundice was very common and generally goes away on its own.

So I expected that they would bring Quorra in soon. After another hour I got anxious. Where is my baby?!? I paged the nurse and asked why they hadn’t brought her back yet. She went and checked and when she came back she told me that Quorra’s temperature was low so they had put her under a heater. They said since she was little she had a harder time regulating her body temperature. Another hour passed and they finally brought Quorra back into our room. I kept her warm by stripping her down to her diaper and putting her skin-to-skin on my chest. The next time the nurses checked her temperature they told me I was a great incubator. Yay me!

We were a little worried that Kahu would not be happy about playing second fiddle to the new member of the family. When we got home he was pretty interested in the little person we brought with us but he learned quickly that he had to be gentle. Now he is amazing with Quorra. He has been her protector since he met her. Quorra is his little sister and he always checks out people that come in to visit to make sure they aren’t hurting her. If she cries and we can’t get to her right away he’ll go check on her. I couldn’t have asked for a better big brother for Quorra.

On Friday we had a follow up with the doctor for Quorra’s jaundice. He said that she was still yellow and he wanted to have her bilirubin levels checked. So we went to the hospital and they took a little blood from her heel and checked her levels. They told us that her bilirubin levels were getting better so just keep up the sunshine and regular feedings. The pediatrician told us to come back if she got any more yellow. She gradually lost her yellow tinge and at her one week check-up we were told that her jaundice was much better. We haven’t had any problems since and she has been jaundice free.

Quorra gained weight well. She went from being in the 10^th percentile (being smaller than 90% of babies her age) to now being in the 50^th percentile (being smaller than 50% of babies her age). We kept her warm by keeping the house around 73 degrees at all times and putting her in long sleeves, pants, and socks. She slept in fleece pajamas most of the time and just now is wearing cotton to bed, since the temperature is getting higher. As she has gotten bigger she has gotten better at regulating her temperature.

We have been really lucky and Quorra usually has a pretty good attitude. Of course, there are times that she is grumpy or cries for no known reason. More often than not, though, she is happy and calm.

Romeo has been a great daddy. He gives baths, reads books, changes diapers, helps with house work, takes care of Kahu, and much much more. There are many times that I wonder if I could do all this without him. Honestly… probably not. I would focus on Quorra and the house and I would be a horrid mess. He keeps me operational in life. Romeo loves Quorra and she loves her daddy. I’m so thankful that he is such a great daddy.

I loved my time on maternity leave. I got to hang out all day with Quorra. I wish with all my heart that I could afford to be a stay at home mom. We just don’t have the ability to do that now. Maybe later in life I’ll be able to stay home with her but right now we need the income so hi-ho hi-ho it’s off to work I go.

I ugly cried the night before I went back to work. No lie, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We are lucky enough to have family members to babysit while I am working but it was still soooo tough. I am glad that I did go back part time for my first week back. It made the transition a little easier for everyone. I got more used to being back at work but I still miss my little munchkin every moment that I am away from her. My friends have mentioned going on vacations without her and I can’t imagine it. Maybe when she gets older I can do it but right now it hurts just thinking about it.

I cherish every day we are together. She has already grown so much and it is unbelievable. People tell you how quickly the baby stage flies by and I can’t stress how much that is true. But I look forward to seeing her learn, grow, and become a little lady.

Quorra – mommy loves you more then you could ever imagine. 

Mooo. I Make The Milk.

When I first thought about having a baby, years ago, I knew right away I wanted to breastfeed. Actually, it wasn’t more of a choice then an assumption. That’s how you feed babies, isn’t it? That’s why women have boobs, right? It has always seemed like that is just what you do. When I got to the point that I started planning on getting pregnant I looked into breastfeeding a bit more. We also discussed it during our Centering Pregnancy meetings. I learned that breastfeeding is the best thing that you can do for you and your baby. Breast milk has so many benefits compared to formula. Breast fed babies are generally healthier then formula fed babies. They build more immunity and are less likely to be overweight. You also get a wonderful bond with your baby through breastfeeding. Plus, breastfeeding is completely natural. The milk is specially made for your baby the way they need it, when they need it, as much as they need. It is always the perfect temperature, is always available, and it’s FREE.

While most women are able to breastfeed I knew that there was the chance of complications. I hoped that I would be able to breastfeed without problems. I made a goal for myself, which was to never use formula. I would try as hard as I could to breastfeed and use only breast milk. I have nothing against women who use formula. It’s just not what I wanted for Quorra and me.

I made a plan, based on information I got from my midwife, nurses, Centering Pregnancy group, baby books, baby magazines, and the internet. I also read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. It is a pretty dry read but I wanted the information, without personal opinions. My plan was to not use any artificial nipples (including pacifiers) in the hospital so we could get used to nursing. I also wanted to wait as long as possible to give Quorra a bottle so we would have plenty of time for both of us to get into a nursing groove. I wanted to try to breastfeed as soon as she was born to help us bond and get a good start to the nursing process.

When Quorra was born we did try breastfeeding right away. She latched on well but didn’t suck. After about 5 or 10 minutes of trying we decided that she was just too tired to nurse just yet. We tried again after a couple hours and she still did not want to suck. I was starting to get discouraged. I wanted so bad to breastfeed and I was making lots of colostrum so I knew there was stuff in there for her. The nurses assured me that she was just tired from the long labor. So I tried after about another hour and, again, she latched well but gave up sucking really quickly. I had learned a few different nursing positions and so I tried the side-lying position. She finally started sucking. This position uses gravity to your benefit and makes it easier for the baby to get the milk out. Apparently Quorra was just so little and exhausted that it was too much work for her to suck the colostrum out. After our first successful nursing she didn’t have to work too hard. The colostrum basically just dripped out and she just lapped it up.

After the pediatrician checked Quorra out they said that they knew she was eating well since she was spitting up colostrum. The lactation consultant told me that I was doing a good job so that made me feel pretty accomplished.

We went home and breastfeeding went really well. Quorra latched and sucked well and my milk came in after one day home. I had very little pain, a little chapping and lanolin helped that. Quorra seemed to prefer one breast over the other and would fight the one a bit. This was a bit painful but I was determined so I made her use both for the same amount of time. It took a couple weeks but she got used to both breasts and all went well.

Milk coma

I started pumping my first week home since my breasts were so full. I pumped about every other day while I was home on maternity leave so I built up a pretty good supply of milk in the freezer. I waited until a couple weeks before I went back to work to give Quorra a bottle, since I loved nursing so much. I craved the bonding time and didn’t want her to start preferring the ease of a bottle. The pediatrician told me that I really had to introduce her to the bottle in case she had problems using it. My husband gave Quorra her first bottle and she had no problems with it. She ate quickly and hungrily. She also went back to the breast with no problem so my fears were calmed.

 My current milk supply. A shelf and a half full. Oh yeah.

I took off eleven weeks from work and went back part time for the twelfth week before going back full time. I pump three times a day during an eight hour work day and usually have enough pumped to feed Quorra the next day and freeze some. I am a milk making machine. My dad said I was like a dairy cow. Moo, y’all. Moo.

I feel very lucky to have had so much ease with breastfeeding. I think breastfeeding has gone so well as a combination of good milk-making genes, luck, and hard work. Quorra will be six months old in a couple weeks and breastfeeding is still going great. She has not had any formula so I’m pretty sure I’ll make my no-formula goal. I have been very determined and have not once given her a bottle myself. Every time she has had one it has been by another person. My husband gave her a couple while I pumped to get her used to them. Since then she has never had a bottle while I have been with her. To keep a good milk supply I always nurse Quorra when I am with her, even when I am out and about. Yes, I am a public breastfeeder. Deal with it. I’m going to feed my child. I keep myself covered and I don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable. Okay, rant over. I never bring a bottle or pumped milk with me when I leave the house so I don’t have the temptation to give her a bottle. I don’t keep any formula in the house, even though I wouldn’t use it even if it was here. That is mostly so that babysitters don’t use it. I have a huge supply of pumped breast milk. It’s not needed.

Formula companies send free formula samples and a lot of them. Between all the samples sent to us we had at least three large tubs of formula and small samples at one point. I sent a couple packages of formula to my cousin, who had some milk supply issues and supplemented with formula. The rest of the free formula was sent to our local food bank. Just because I didn’t need it didn’t mean that there wasn’t someone else that needed it and couldn’t afford it.

Okay! Back on track… Anyway…If I’m with Quorra I will nurse her. No bottle. Ever. If it is a time that she is eating and the person watching her is giving her a bottle of pumped milk I make sure to be pumping more. The way boobs work is simple. They make as much milk as they need to. Take more out and they will make more, take less out and they will make less. So I make sure to always extract milk when Quorra is being given a bottle. I honestly think that this is the biggest reason that nursing has gone so well for us. The pumping can be a pain in the ass but I know breast milk is the best thing for my daughter and I will deal with the pumping to give it to her.

If you are having a baby soon and wonder if you will be able to breastfeed just keep at it and don’t give up too soon. I know some people have complications and are not able to make enough milk to feed their baby. But if you work hard and your body responds, keep it up. Don’t get lazy or try to take shortcuts. Get up in the middle of the night (numerous times) to nurse and breastfeed when you are out of the house. I know every mom has their own preferences but these are just my suggestions for those who want the same outcome as I did.

We are waiting until Quorra is six months old to start solids, which my research has shown to be better for baby. Right now we are still exclusively breastfeeding and loving it. I plan to make my own baby food when we start solids so check back to see how that goes. 

Milk coma again

My Birth Story

As a precaution, this really is a story about birth. The birth of my first daughter. It’s not very censored so if you are easily grossed out maybe don’t read. Also, this was the most significant day of my life so this is a long story. Sorry.

My alarm goes off at 6:30am for work and I get up to turn it off and my water breaks. So here I am standing in my bedroom with stuff dripping down my legs…. Romeo was still sleeping so I woke him up and told him that I thought my water had broken. He said “okay, let me know…” and fell back asleep. We both sleep pretty hard so this is an expected reaction. I went to the bathroom and leaked even more. Now I was about 90% certain my water had broken. Don’t judge me for having doubt… after you are pregnant for that long it seems unreal when it is finally time for birth. I woke Romeo up again and told him that I was pretty sure my water had broken. He said “okay, do you need to call the hospital?” I told him that I was going to take a shower first and then I’d call.

I wasn’t having any contractions so I decided to just relax and take my time getting ready to go to the hospital. My midwife had told me that in cases like mine where your water breaks and you have no contractions that you have a few hours before you have to be at the hospital, so I was in no rush.

While I took a shower I decided 100% that my water had broken. I was like a faucet. A faucet of gross, slimy, baby fluid. It took me a while to get dressed since I thought it pointless to put on pants while I was leaking all over the place. Finally I decided to put on a dress and put a giant maxi pad in my undies to catch the remaining grossness. Romeo was still in bed so I told him that he needed to get ready so we could go to the hospital. This statement put a bit of fire under his ass and he got showered and ready to go.

We got to the hospital around 10am and told them that my water had broken. They got us up to a room and got me set up in the bed and told me that they were going to test me to see if my water did, in fact, break. I told them that I knew it did but they wanted to do the test anyway. This test consists of putting a strip of some special paper on your hoo-ha and if it turns a certain color then your water has broken. The nurse did the test and it didn’t come up positive. I insisted that my water had broken. The nurse said they would do a swab test but that it could have been discharge or urine. I’m not stupid. I wouldn’t have come to the hospital for discharge or pee…. So they stick a giant q-tip up there and take it away for their test. About 15 minutes later my midwife walked in and said that my water was, in fact, broken. I know. I told you all that. You didn’t believe me and had to do tests.

I still didn’t have any contractions so they sent me walking around the hospital. They told me that if I still wasn’t progressing by 1pm that they would give me pitocin. So I walked and walked and walked and walked. I had to convince Romeo to get some lunch. He was very dedicated and didn’t want to eat if I couldn’t (did I mention that you can’t eat anything other than popsicles while in labor? Horrible) but there was no reason he had to be hungry. Plus, I didn’t want any chance of him passing out. The midwife checked me again at 1pm and decided that I needed pitocin. I was told that I was “way too happy to be in labor.” Whoops. My bad. Didn’t know I was supposed to be a bitch.

So the IV was put in and pitocin was started. And I was sent walking again. The problem was that now that I was all hooked up I couldn’t leave the maternity ward. So I walked in circles. Around and around and around and around and around. I have that place memorized. I finally started having regular contractions after a few minutes. As time went on (and as they upped and upped the pitocin) my contractions got stronger and stronger. They wanted me to keep walking for at least an hour. This whole time I was starving. The nurse in my Centering Pregnancy group told me that if I was hungry then I wasn’t in real labor. Let me tell you friends, this is a lie. I was hungry the whole time.

Finally I had to ask them if I could sit down. Not only were my contractions getting intense but I had been walking practically nonstop since 10am. I’m pretty sure I would have been tired at that point even without the contractions and being 9 months pregnant. This was about 4pm. I rocked in the rocking chair and that helped with the contractions and keeping my mind occupied. And I rocked and rocked and rocked and rocked. The pain started getting to me and I had them give me IV pain medication twice. When they first shoot it in there it is amazing. It helped me rest and relax a little. But the first dose only helped for about half an hour and you can only have one dose per hour. The second dose only helped for about 15 minutes. I didn’t get any more after that since it would help for less time with each additional dose.

Around 6pm I asked them if I could get an epidural. I had contraction in my back and legs and the ones in my legs got to me. I couldn't handle lying in bed with them cramping like that. They checked my dilation and I was at 4cm so they let me go ahead and get it. By the time the anesthesiologist got there I was hurting A LOT. They checked me again and I was around 7cm so they proceeded. He put in the epidural and asked me how I felt. I said there was no change. So he pulled it out and put it back in. Yeah. That was fun. I loved when you put the needle in my back. Go ahead and do it again. This time it helped the cramps in one leg and that was it. So they put in a booster and it helped with the other leg. I still had pain, pressure, and cramping in the rest of my body but the anesthesiologist had no other suggestions and I was left to fend for myself. Apparently the epidural just didn’t work on my body the way it was supposed to. Even the midwife told me (numerous times) that I labored like a woman who never got an epidural.

Then they checked my dilation and I was over 9cm. The midwife said that I should be ready to push within a few contractions and she was right. After just a couple contractions I said I wanted to push. She told me to wait, checked me and I was at 10cm so I was ready to go. I started pushing and pushed and pushed and pushed. We did a few different positions, some helpful, some not so helpful.

After 4 hours of pushing the midwife told me that I was this close to having her out of there and she thought if she did an episiotomy that she would be out within a few pushes. YES. Go for it. I was completely and utterly exhausted at this point. Seriously… I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, I had walked for hours, I had pushed for 4 hours, was dealing with being 9 months pregnant, and I was in pain. I was nodding off (in spite of the pain) in between pushes. So when she gave me this option I was more than on board. Before this point I was more than afraid of having my vagina cut and sewed back together. But now it seemed like the best idea ever.

She did give me some local anesthesia so I wouldn’t feel the episiotomy and when they realized that I could more than feel the needles they knew that my epidural had done pretty much nothing. If you aren’t aware, you shouldn’t feel a needle being stuck into your lady-ness if you have had an epidural. Anyway… So she cut me and I pushed and she told me the head was coming out. I pushed again and she said the head was all the way out and to wait a moment before pushing so she could clear the baby’s nose and mouth. She told me to push just a little and I did and felt the biggest relief of pressure you could ever imagine and there was my baby.

I couldn’t believe that she was finally out in the world. The midwife laid her on my chest and I was in love. It’s a wave of emotion that I had never gotten close to feeling before. Romeo and I both kissed her and knew our lives would never be the same. Everything now rotated around this tiny little lady.

Through this entire ordeal Romeo was the best labor partner I could have wished for. He was extremely supportive and did everything and anything he could to help. He rubbed my back, held my hand, let me use his arm as a brace when pushing, and so much more. Not once did he get upset or snap at me no matter how I acted toward him.

After we got to hold our little girl for a moment we knew the name we wanted to go with. Quorra Noelle. Then I worked on breastfeeding. She latched like a pro but was just as tired as I was so she didn’t do any sucking. We worked on it for a few minutes before deciding that she was going to do anything else right then. Romeo was able to take some pictures of her as the nurses took her to go get cleaned up, weighed, measured, and whatnot. Quorra weight 6lb 9oz and was 18½in long. She was perfect and beautiful.

I wasn’t done with the birthing process just yet. I had to push out the placenta. I didn’t really have any more contractions and pushed just a couple times and the midwife pulled it out by the umbilical cord. No, I didn’t look. Gross. Then she sewed me up and cleaned me up. She also took out the catheter, which I hadn’t even known she put in. Yeah… birth is not pretty. It’s a good thing an amazing little person comes out of it all. Otherwise no one would do it. Ever. The nurse helped me up and took me to the bathroom. She showed me how to squirt my goodies with the squirt bottle and what to expect and how to take care of my poor, swollen, stitched-up lady parts. They got my bed cleaned up and laid me back down and Romeo came over with Quorra.

We hung out for a couple minutes to calm down and get acclimated and told the nurses to send in the family members and friends. Everyone was ecstatic to meet the new member of the family. Quorra stole each one of their hearts.

Quorra was a lot of work but she is definitely worth it. I can’t imagine my life without this little girl. She is my heart and soul. She is an amazing gift from God and I adore every moment with her.

 Quorra on her daddy's chest

Super adorable, right??

PS - don't steal pictures of my daughter

Welcome Noah and George!

I have been pretty busy lately. Not only did I have my normal new-mom-busyness, I also had the privilege of meeting the newest member of our family. Noah Porter has finally arrived!

PS - These are personal pictures. Don't touch. Don't Steal.

My sister, Jessica, was 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant when her water finally broke. She was more than ready to meet her little boy. After hours and hours and hours of waiting for her dilation to progress, her doctor decided that it would be in her and little Noah’s best interest to proceed with a c-section. Check out Jessica’s full birth story on her blog.

I have to be honest with you all and let you know that if I had been in Jessica’s situation I would have freaked. One of my biggest fears with childbirth was a c-section. I may have had a long labor (don’t worry! My birth story is coming soon!) but I was able to have my little girl vaginally. If the doctor came up to me and told me that they wanted me to have a c-section I would have broken down. I know that it would be the best thing to do for the little one’s health (and the mommy’s) but I would have been emotionally defeated.

So I have to give Jess all the props in the world. She handled it like a champ and is healing nicely. Not to mention that she has a super handsome little boy out of it all! 

I am the proudest aunt ever and can’t wait to spoil Noah rotten! Welcome to the family little man! You have the best mommy and daddy a boy could ask for. Not to mention your super great aunt.

I love him!

Not only did Noah join our family, but last month we also got to welcome George Edward! (Did I mention this was our family’s Year of Babies??) My cousin, Kristin, gave birth to her first son, George Edward.

She was induced at 37 weeks due to some concerns with her blood pressure. She took a long time to dilate but only pushed for 45 minutes and little George came into the world. He is a tiny guy but so adorable. Kristin named him after her late father, my uncle, who passed away this past fall due to complications from cancer and cancer treatments. George’s middle name is his father’s middle name.

I haven’t gotten to meet George yet but hopefully we will be able to get our Fierce Foursome together soon and I will smother him with kisses!

I love him too!!

I love both these ladies so much and they are going to be great mommies. Wait… they already are great mommies! I am so happy to have them join us in the world of new moms. Now they understand a bit more when we discuss poop, vomit, lack of sleep, and how we wouldn't trade any of it for the world.